Making Gaming Spaces Safer
When we talk about workplace/event safety in 2022, the topic is generally COVID-19.
Disease precautions remain an important part of safety, but what the industry also really needs right now in the wake of several waves of #MeToo and horror stories of mismanagement in the workplace are safe space policy standards that go far above and beyond standard COVID-19 measures. We need safety standards for interpersonal interactions in all spaces where we gather to set the kind of standards that prevent harmful interactions from happening.
When Rad Magpie was only a year old, my friend and former colleague Shannon Mitchell showed me a book called Making Spaces Safer by Shawna Potter. The book was an excellent resource and started me down a winding path of consideration & study of this topic. Many people either don’t see the value of a safe space policy, or are confused about how to go about making their spaces safer, so I pulled together this post to help create some action items for folks in that category.
This blog is a compilation of some relevant takeaways from Making Spaces Safer, with other resources peppered in. Let’s get started!
The definition of “safe space” is “a place or environment in which a person or category of people can feel confident that they will not be exposed to discrimination, criticism, harassment, or any other emotional or physical harm.” (Oxford Dictionary, with extra links provided by us)
“There is no such thing as an entirely safe space. No one’s safety or comfort can be guaranteed 100 percent of the time… However, it’s important to point out that, as I use the term, a safer space is not one free of challenging ideas or opinions. It’s not about avoiding exposure to people who are different from you. It doesn’t even promise that harassment and violence will never happen. But we can always make spaces safer, first by acknowledging that some people are discriminated against just for being who they are, and then by doing what we can to ensure they are believed and supported if that happens on our watch.”
—Shawna Potter, Making Spaces Safer
Making Spaces Safer is all about how we respond when bad things happen (if bad things happen). It’s not about promising that unsafe things will never happen, or that unsafe things are not currently happening in your community, because that is an impossible and empty promise. You can’t always know, but you can always set standards upfront and then respond appropriately when those standards are not met.
4 things you can do RIGHT NOW (Expandable)
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Make a Safe Space Policy for your organization. Here’s ours for reference (radmagpie.org/safespacepolicy)
A safe space policy is essential to a space, not a “nice to have” or “going the extra mile.” It enables dangerous situations to happen when you neglect to put one in place - and putting one in place doesn’t take that much time.
Working off of someone else’s safe space policy is a great place to start. It’s a jumpstart to reference another org’s policy, but it’s also just better to have a borrowed plan than no plan at all. Something you still need to consider for yourself when borrowing someone else’s policy is that you have a suitable capacity for enforcing your new safe space policy. Make amendments so that the policy fits. Consider a borrowed policy like a first draft — don’t forget about it after this point! Policies can be amended, and making a good safe space policy takes much longer than an afternoon.
The next step involves speaking with the community this policy applies to and then contacting legal aides to make sure you’re actually operating within legal boundaries.
Something is better than nothing, and it really takes no time at all to have something, but a good safe space policy takes careful thought and consideration. For more guidance, go to this link: https://may17.org/how-to-build-a-safer-spaces-policy/
If you don’t have the power to put policies in place, write an email or consider asking in person if your favorite event venue or workplace has a safe space policy. If the answer is no, link this blog post and request that they make one.
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Sharing this blog, sharing Shawna Potter’s book, listening to and sharing podcasts that talk about this subject, talking to your friends about something you found interesting in here… the list goes on.
Basically, the onus on making spaces safer is not on a single “leader,” but on every single person in that space, which means everyone needs to get on the same page. If we talk to the people around us about this subject, we’re more likely to spark their curiosity and they’re more likely to do some learning that builds towards that end. Maybe they’ll find something that you haven’t considered before and you can learn together! Either way, moving forward as a group is going to be more effective than one person moving forward on their own.
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“Appropriate responses [to harassment] must be victim-centered. That means we must prioritize the desires, safety, and well-being of the person suffering harassment in every aspect of our response. It means we need to protect a victim’s privacy and personal boundaries and only take our response in the direction they want us to take it. Underlying all this is an attitude that should be obvious but that always bears repeating: the victim of harassment is never responsible for the abusive behavior they’ve experienced.” –Shawna Potter, Making Spaces Safer (p.39)
Dealing with someone who’s had any kind of trauma in a moment of crisis (p.45)
Give them a voice and a choice (ask them where they would like to sit, if they want water, etc.)
Make sure they not only are physically safe enough to talk with you, but also that they feel physically safe enough. Give them a little privacy or move them away from prying eyes.
Provide transparency. Explain to them what is about to happen, and then follow through. This would mean, for instance, explaining to them if you’re about to ask a series of questions or going to get a manager, if you need to leave them alone, and, if so, when you will be back.
Collaborate with them on any future plans. Don’t tell them what they have to do, instead let them know their options and ask them what might work better for them. If they aren’t sure, you can even say, “Most people in your position might choose to…” this still lets them have the final say. This might mean crafting a safety plan or listing their next steps for the coming 48 hours.
Finally, keep cultural issues in mind. Maybe you’re not the best person to help the victim at this moment. If you represent the same oppressor group as the person who caused the victim harm, you might want to enlist the help of someone who looks like the victim, who can immediately provide a sense of camaraderie. Use your best judgment.
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You might think, ‘Why is this in here? No one is supposed to be flirting at work!’
Again, the first step to making spaces safer is dropping our assumptions that just because something isn’t supposed to happen, or that we don’t see it happening, doesn’t mean it’s not happening or won’t happen in the future. That is a willful ignorance that just makes space for people to misbehave without being held accountable. Drop that assumption.
“When women and transgender and nonbinary folks say they’re tired of harassment and assault, they are often met with a sentiment that boils down to ‘So, what I can’t talk to women anymore?’ Now this is a prime example of how our modern ideas of romance and sex are implicitly based on non-consensual interactions. If you think you can’t talk to me because I don’t want to be harassed, what does that say about how you were planning on talking to me?” —Shawna Potter, Making Spaces Safer, p.107
The first question isn’t “How can I avoid being accused of harassment?” but rather “How can I avoid harassing someone?” (p.105)
More advice from Potter in chapter four:
There is no reason to tell a stranger what you think of their appearance. Just because someone looks good to you doesn’t mean they’re looking good for you or that they’re asking for anything, including your attention. Also, don’t stare.
No statement that treads along the lines of racism, transphobia, Islamophobia, ableism, ageism, classism, fat-shaming, or homophobia is going to come across as flirting.
Read the situation. Are they at work? Are they with friends or deep in conversation? Are they zoned in on the show? Are they in the middle of ordering a drink? Respect context clues and don’t interrupt their good time. If they’re heading out, and you feel like you’re losing the chance to meet the love of your life, you can say something quick and respectful.
Ex.) “Hey, sorry to bother you, I see you’re on your way out with your friends. You just caught my eye back at the bar.” As you say this, hand them a piece of paper with your number on it and tell them “If you ever want to hang out, I’d be up for it; have a good night!” and then walk away. *It is intentional that this example happens outside of the workplace setting. Don’t approach people like this at work.The best way to actually be a ‘nice guy’ is not to tell someone over and over again, it’s to show them. And, yeah, sometimes that means leaving them alone.
Take “no” with respect and grace. It’s not always about you. They’re just not interested. A breezy “All good, I’ll be at the table over there if you change your mind” shows confidence. Confidence is way sexier than desperation or anger.
Remember that there are many ways to say “no.” It could be a “maybe next time,” a grimacing face, nervous laughter, or a shake of the head. Basically, anything that isn’t “yes” lol.
Don’t push someone to do something that they’re not totally psyched about. Don’t spike people’s drinks. Don’t get angry if someone says no. Don’t follow people or stand too close to them or manufacture an excuse to touch them. Don’t touch them at all unless explicitly and specifically invited to. Don’t rape.
If any of these tips are new to you, please take time to analyze them from all angles and distances.
“These tips are not just for men, and the person being flirted with doesn’t have to be a woman. While statistics show that men are often the perpetrators of gender-based violence and harassment, absolutely everyone deserves respect in public spaces— even if they are fucking hot. If you can be someone who others trust to respect boundaries, even at inconvenient times, people will feel a lot safer letting loose around you. You can feel good knowing that it’s because they genuinely want to.” —Shawna Potter, Making Spaces Safer (p.114)
4 things that take a bit more time…
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Really it’s not that long, and it’s split into two halves. The first part is about giving harassment the boot where you live, work, and play — you are handed the answers to all of your burning questions and more on a silver platter. The second part is how you can engage with yourself to do the necessary learning to be a safer participant in spaces that you enter. An invaluable read for anyone who has any degree of power over others.
The book is short but might take longer than an afternoon to read. Still, if you are dedicated to the concept of safety where you live, work, and play, I highly recommend that you read it. There is a lot to learn and Shawna’s examples and tips are extremely helpful in preparing you and your community for appropriate response to harassment.
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If you are not “the boss”
Create a free event after work that anyone you work with can attend & talk more about safer spaces. We don’t always need our boss’s permission to learn something new together and better ourselves as a team.
If that’s too intimidating, ask folks in power to organize staff trainings on anti-harassment and workplace safety. Include links to the organizations listed below & a note on why workplace safety like this is important to you.
If you just want to learn on your own for now, Right to Be has free online anti-harassment and bystander intervention trainings via Zoom.
If you are “the boss”
Organize staff trainings.
Hire someone like Shawna Potter, who literally wrote the book that this entire blog post is based off of (https://shawnapotter.com/contact).You can hire an org called Right to Be (formerly Hollaback) for specialized anti-harassment trainings.
(https://righttobe.org/our-training/).Take This also does for-hire consultant work for game studios about this topic.(https://www.takethis.org/programs/industry-consulting/)
Take This also has a combined project with Feminist Frequency called the Culture Shift Project that walks studios through the challenging and sometimes confusing process of understanding and intervening in toxic, abusive, and harmful employee interactions, and building the tools necessary to significantly reduce harm in the future.
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”What do all the spaces you inhabit have in common? You. Whatever space you’re in, whatever role you play, you bring yourself into it. All your baggage, habits — good and bad.” —Shawna Potter, Making Spaces Safer p.103
Personal growth takes a lot of time. In order to embody specific components of safety, we need to be confident that we ourselves are safer people to be around. Through the process of learning how to make spaces safer, you might encounter ideas that you are incapable of embodying until a specific type of growth blossoms within you. Unlearning harmful habits is no small undertaking, but what’s important is that you start practicing habits that ground you and help you consider others’ needs in a more balanced way.
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Through the process of learning about making spaces safer, it’s possible that we discover that we have done harm to another person. Maybe we know very well that we’ve harmed someone because we’ve been “canceled” before. But what can we do if we’re interested in reconciliation?
Potter talks about cancel culture being an incomplete action — it provides no resources for rehabilitation. What can we do after a callout happens? How do we forgive? When do we know when to forgive? Who decides this? She references a Washington Post article titled “Famous abusers seek easy forgiveness. Rosh Hashanah teaches us repentance is hard.” by Rabbi Danya Ruttenberg in response to the #MeToo phenomenon of half-assed apologies from powerful men who seem to care more about hanging onto their power than what they did to abuse it.
Rabbi Ruttenberg talks about the Jewish tradition of tshuva — the work a person who has done harm must undertake:
The bad actor must own the harm perpetrated, ideally publicly.
Then they must do the hard internal work to become the kind of person who does not harm in this way, which is a massive undertaking, demanding tremendous introspection and confrontation of unpleasant aspects of the self.
Then they must make restitution for the harm done, in whatever way that might be possible.
Then — and only then —they must apologize sincerely to the victim.
Lastly, the next time they are confronted with an opportunity to commit a similar misdeed, they must make a different, better choice." p.101
She gives the example of a rabbi who, in atonement for his complicity in enabling a high school principal's sexually abusive acts, "has dedicated much of his life and work to advocating for victims of sexual assault."
Shawna asks us to sit with this, and to ask ourselves if we are capable of such repentance or the sense of responsibility to others it implies.
I add this here because reconciliation is not the same as an immediate apology. It is an immense yet unspeakably important and meaningful process that takes a lot of time and effort on the behalf of those who have done harm. To simply apologize and feel bad for what you did is not enough to reach true reconciliation.
You can do a lot to work towards safety in your environment. You might think “we have a perfectly safe space, we’re doing fine already” …as far as you know. Maybe if you had a policy, things would come up that have previously evaded your awareness. Or maybe you actually are a perfect baby angel organization, but as people come and go from the organization over time, things will likely shift. Having a policy in place sets certain expectations and gives you something to turn to should anything go awry in the future. It’s an excellent safeguard for you, your employees, and your community that should withstand the test of time. If you’re still confused, there’s a whole community here to help you! Shawna Potter, Right To Be, Take This, and Rad Magpie are each just the tip of that iceberg. Talk to your community members, coworkers, and friends— you’re bound to find someone who is willing to go through this process with you.
TLDR: Put victims first, Read Making Spaces Safer by Shawna Potter, talk about it with others, & create your own Safe Space Policy.
Example Safe Space Policies:
Rad Magpie’s Safe Space Policy: https://radmagpie.org/safespacepolicy
Pixelles’ Safe Space Policy: https://pixelles.ca/2020/06/our-safe-space-policy/
More Resources from Right To Be:
Preventing and Responding to Harassment: https://righttobe.org/harassment-training/
Conflict Deescalation: https://righttobe.org/conflict-de-escalation-training/
Resilience Training: https://righttobe.org/resilience-training/
Bystander Intervention: https://righttobe.org/bystander-intervention-training/
More Resources on Mental Health from Take This:
Free Mental Health Resources: https://www.takethis.org/community/
Industry Consulting: https://www.takethis.org/programs/industry-consulting/
Check out the Creative Interventions Toolkit: A Practical Guide to Stop Interpersonal Violence:
http://www.creative-interventions.org/tools/toolkit
Buy Making Spaces Safer:
This blog was written by Megan McAvoy & edited by Dana Steinhoff, Maggie DeCapua, Shannon Mitchell, and Amila Nuhodzic